May 20, 2011

On this date in 685, the Picts fought the Northumbrians at the Battle of Dunnichen (or the Battle of Nechtansmere depending on whose side you’re on). The Pictish force was commanded by King Bridei III (he wasn’t the third king called Bridei, that’s actually a row of lower case L’s; you just sort of trill your tongue after saying “Bridei”), who had his troops pretend to retreat in order to lure their opponents into a swamp. Where, presumably, the rabbits finished them off. Rabbits covered in woad.

The Northumbrian force was let by King Ecgfrith. OF COURSE they lost. They couldn’t even sound the rallying cry. “To battle! For King Eck… Eckeg… Ech-gf… Eckfrith! Egfrith! ECKGHKHFRITH! HOW DO YOU SAY THIS DUDE’S NAME!?” and by then the battle was basically over.

This fight effectively ended Northumbrian dominance in the region, and their lands never again extended past the Firth of Forth. Or, in the other directions, past the Sirth of Fofth, the Eifth of Nonth, or, of course, the Sefond of Furst.