May 31, 2011

On this date (1) in 1279 BCE, Ramesses The Great became Faroe of Egypt. His first two acts as Faroe were to change the spelling to Pharaoh to make it seem cooler (it worked), and to declare war on all the “people” in Egypt with animal heads. Particularly the jackal-headed people. Those guys were nothing but trouble, always, you know, leading the way to the underworld and whatnot. Barking at passersby. Eating the cat-headed people.

Oh, cat-headed people not only got to live, they got to live really well. Their expected lifespan was upwards of thirty-eight!

(1) well, this date-ish… I mean, they probably weren’t using the Gregorian calendar unless they were time travelers (OMG I JUST EXPLAINED THE PYRAMIDS)

*****

It’s “World No Tobacco Day” (sic) today. So, you know, All No Tobacco Today You Guys Have. Or I mean Hey Guys This Day No Tobacco Be Having. Something like that.