June 3, 2011

On this date in 1850, Kansas City, Missouri, was officially incorporated. Contemporary accounts of the new city suggest that it was quite a bustling metropolis, and in certain ways almost spookily futuristic. By at least one account, they “went and built a skyscraper seven stories high,” which I think we can all agree is “about as high as a building oughta grow.” With such conveniences as radiators, indoor outhouses (inhouses?) and fifty cent burlesque acts, 1850s Kansas City was simply the best possible place to die of horrendous diseases for which no medicine existed. I mean… best possible place to live.

After all: they’d gone about as fer as they c’d go.

Also: on this date in 2006, Serbia and Montenegro’s union officially dissolved, following Montenegro’s declaration of independence. Later, Monte would split from Negro, although that split was amicable was well. It was earlier this year when Monte split into Mo; Nt; and the Federated States of E, while Negro split into two nations both claiming that name as their own that things really started to get ugly.