June 5, 2011

On this date in 1829, HMS Pickle captured an armed slave ship off the coast of Cuba. It was supported in the action by HMS Sauerkraut and HMS Spicy Mustard.

Look, I’m all for capturing armed slave ships. I think we can all agree that’s a valid action for one of HMS. But “the Pickle” is a spectacularly dumb name for a war vessel.

For instance:  

Pirate 1: Yar, Captain Greenbeard-With-Red-Spots-and-Perhaps-Just-the-Slightest-Touch-o’-Grey, I be spottin’ the Union Jack off the port stern!

Pirate Captain: Yar.

Pirate 2: Yar.

Pirate Captain: You’ll be shuttin’ up there, Pirate 2. You’ll be speakin’ when spoken to. Now, Pirate, can you tell what ship it be?

Pirate 1: By Davey Jones, Captain, it be the Pickle.

Pirate 2: Yar.

Pirate Captain: (executing Pirate 2) It be the Pickle, be it?

Pirate 1: It be.

Pirate Captain: Then I feel our fate is bein’ set.

Pirate 1: Huh-what?

Pirate Captain: That tasty, delicious, salty cucumber bathed in brine, dill, and garlic shall be the death of us all. Run up the capstan and joist the mainyards. Today be a good day to die.

Pirate 1: Yar, Captain. Yar.

All: Yar!